I don’t know what I want to do, I want to be sociable and hang out and spend time with people but my grades are just falling. This is the first time I have failed a test in a while and the feeling isn’t great. I feel the need to be cared for but yet at times I just want to be alone. I don’t manage my time well or set my priorities straight and the feeling I feel everyday just makes me want to cry. In the end, something is lost and I don’t know what that something will be yet but I’m not too eager to find out.
I was once where you were. I felt shitty about how nonproductive i was and how much time i lost and wasted, how much MONEY i was wasting [not even MY money]. You are in college for a reason and you know what you have to do, you just need to execute it. Friends will understand if you need to cut hang out time early. They will be there tomorrow, but your opportunity at success and getting that good grade will not. Instead of feeling bad for yourself and putting your self esteem in the shitter- look to the past semester as a lesson. You know you can do better. If your ambitious, high energy, high school self met the current jenna pham, would she like who she is now and how she’s doing with school work? Reevaluate yourself and become zen and in touch with your inner self. Stop concentrating on unnecessary things- they only matter for a short amount of time. There are larger things at hand to worry about.
Nothing has to be lost. Don’t resort to such extremes. Find the middle balance, the common ground, and what works best for you. When do you study the best? Who are you most productive around? How do you study? All of these things are common things freshmen deal with and it’s understandable. The amount of freedom given to you when you enter college is so new and intense you just want to waste it all away doing nothing but hanging out and making memories! It’s all so tempting, i know, but its so much more fun when you’re hanging out with friends and you have no obligations because you did all of your work already.
Don’t hype up your school work -.- this is something I still deal with. I’ll sit there and just DRAG OUT how much i have to do, how much i have to study, and etc etc etc. Stop making it into something bigger than it is. You simply just need to.. do it. It’s like a ripping a band aid off- you get nervous and scared when youre about to rip it off so you push it off and you don’t want to and you just hype it all up in your mind- when the whole time, the band aid could have been off and the short period of pain would be over. do the same for hw. just DO IT. there’s really nothing to it but to do it. and know that you’re NOT alone. talk to your classmates, upper classmen, and fellow friends to motivate and help you.
Time is NOW NOW NOW. Be better than you were yesterday. Remember everyday you are reborn and what you do today matters most. Good luck Jenna!
